


Worst idea, ever.

by MLake867



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Labor Unions, Rants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 15:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLake867/pseuds/MLake867
Summary: Maybe melting down the DEOs guns was a bad idea.





	Worst idea, ever.

J’onn was in his office at the DEO when the DEO union rep and his deputy came in and sat down. The rep said, in a heavy New Jersey accent “about the guns?”

“Yes?”

“We want 'em back.”

“Why?”

“Well, after we switched over to the non-lethal stuff, it was OK for a while, but now woid has gotten around to the, uh, hostile alien community and we’ve had 17 guys shot, maimed, disemboweled, or eaten in the last two weeks.”

“Why so many?”

“Well, when we had guns, we often found ourselves in a situation where the aliens effectively equaled or outnumbered us. They could maybe kill all of us before we could kill all of them, or maybe not. Thing is, they would say ‘the DEO can’t kill all of us’ and either we or sometimes an unusually cleah thinking one of them would point out that the DEO could kill the foist 6 or 7 of them. Then they would all decide they didn’t want to go foist.”

“I see.”

“Yeah, so it was ‘surrender or risk death.’ Mostly they surrendered. Now it’s ‘what have I got to lose? If I win I go free, if I lose, same cell, I just get knocked out for a while.”

“Ah.”

“Also, this ‘the only weapon anyone needs is a shield’ thing; really doesn’t work when the aliens are packin' disintegrator guns. Throw in the generally lower rate of fire of the non-lethal weapons, and that they usually leave the bad guys in a condition to fire off two-tree more rounds or hit someone a few times before they kick in…”

“Uh…”

“…and of course the fact that most of the time the tranquilizers and other knock out weapons either have too low a dose to knock a guy out, or a high enough dose to put him in the ground anyway…”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, toins out the reason they pay anesthesiologists so well is that it is a pretty fine line between not-enough-to-knock-‘em-out and oops-dead. Of course, that’s in a hospital with most of the variables like body weight, pre-existing conditions, and planet of origin of the patient known well in advance.”

“Well, crap.”

“Yeah, so we lost the smartest 25% that transferred to other agencies when you started this ‘non-lethal’ kick without consulting anyone but a vigilante… and let’s face it a guy who makes a habit of fightin' groups of criminals on his own with no regular backup probably doesn’t have the best survival instincts… and we lost those 17 maimed or dead… anyway, long story short, about a quarter of my union guys are ready to go on strike if you don’t give them back their guns.”

“And the other three-quarters?”

“Are just going to transfer out without bothering to strike unless we re-arm, now.”

“OK, so we get more guns.”

“Yeah, too bad we melted 'em down instead of just not carrying 'em around and storing them, you know, just in case this idea didn’t woik and we needed them some day.”

J’onn sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: This is kind of a protest against the stupidity of the last episode [3x21]. I say this as someone who thinks civilians should not be legally purchasing military grade assault weapons and criminals and crazies shouldn’t be allowed to buy guns at all, even from a “private” seller at a gun show.
> 
> That said; are you freakin’ kidding me, Supergirl writers? Government organizations that hunt dangerous individuals are a whole different kettle of fish. They encounter situations where an assault rifle is useful fairly often. And that’s just real life government organizations, much less one in a monster/super-strong alien of the week universe. 
> 
> The idea of people not hesitating to charge a non-lethal weapon is from Lois Bujold. One of her characters described an incident where a guard got killed because he had a stunner and a mob overpowered him and beat him to death, where they might have hesitated to charge someone with a nerve disruptor (often lethal and always permanently crippling weapon).
> 
> The "they can kill the first few, so no one wants to go first" is from Terry Pratchett's character Cohen the Barbarian (inventor of wholesale slaughter) and a mob that decided they didn't want to go first.


End file.
